The largest test of faith I’ve encountered came this summer.
During the year immediately after my baptism, I lived in constant fellowship with Christians who encouraged my faith and enjoyed going to church just as much as I did. I went to at least one worship night and one church service a week. I ran a faith-based club. Many of my classes centered around talking about God. After that, I spent a month abroad learning even more about God and His creation.
And then I went home.
Don’t get me wrong, I love home. It’s great to be able to sleep in, babysit the kids I’ve known since they were born, and go out to dinner with my parents who suddenly aren’t all the way across the country. That said, home is not where my faith flourishes.
If you know me in real life (or have read my about page) you know that I am the only Christian in my family. My parents are lovely people who enjoy having conversations about faith. My mom occasionally goes to church with me, and our drives home are filled with Q&A sessions and some great conversations. My dad is the least spiritual person I know, and yet during family debates he often utilizes his lawyer-skills to put himself in my shoes and see where I’m coming from. However, neither of my parents will ever come to me and say, “Hey, I saw that there’s a really cool worship night coming up, want to go?” or “I’m heading to bible study, come with me!”
All of that is to say that when I’m home, I have no accountability from other believers. If I don’t go to church, no one texts me to see if I’m okay. If I don’t show up to bible study, no one is knocking on my door to make me come. It is all on me! I’m not telling you this to cast blame on my parents for not babysitting me, I’m telling you this to admit fault.
At first, I didn’t realize that if I wanted to engage with my faith over the summer I had to be the one to make it happen. That’s how today, August 1st, I woke up and realized I hadn’t looked at my bible since leaving school. How embarrassing is that?!? A christian blogger who is majoring in religion and hopes to be a pastor hasn’t opened her bible in 3 months.
This is my public confession: sometimes I’m a bad Christian. But you know what gives me hope? I know that God will never give up on me. And that should give you hope as well. I don’t care how far you’ve wandered, or how lost you think you are. If you turn around and come back, God will always be there. You are not a lost cause.
I would love to hear from you: Is summer more difficult for your faith walk, or is it easier? How do you make faith a priority when you have no accountability? If anyone wants to help me stay accountable, please leave a comment. I will respond to you and together we can get back on the right track.
All of my love,